Time Alone 3: The Impossible Mission
by A Scary Man
Summary: Reno has found the woman of his dreams - unfortunately it seems that the only way he'll ever marry her is in his dreams...(please review)


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FF7 OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS

A/N: I suggest you read Time Alone 1 and 2 before starting this one. Just click my username for links to them.

Time Alone 3: The Impossible Mission

Chapter One

Reno raised his head from the wooden table and, with an effort, focused his eyes on the blonde-haired woman who stood across the room from him. He'd seen a lot of good-looking women in his lifetime – most of them on television, he had to admit – but there was no doubt that Elena ranked above all of them. She was his…his…Reno stirred his drunken brain into something like action…what was that word…that planet-thingy…oh, yeah…his Venus.

"I'm in love with her," he announced to his drinking partners.

"Huh?" replied Cid Highwind, who, for several minutes now, had been trying to summon up the energy and co-ordination to stand up, but then decided it was much easier just to stay in his chair and have another drink.

"Whose round is it?" Vincent Valentine muttered from within the folds of his cloak.

"…" said Rude.

Cid flipped open his wallet and sighed, "I'm out. Your round, Reno."

Reno struggled to his feet, swayed for a moment or two while he got his bearings, then tried to remember in which direction the bar was located. Wasn't it behind him? He turned round and stepped forward, smacking into a wall he was sure hadn't been there last time he'd looked.

"Over that way," Vincent mumbled, pointing an unsteady finger in the general direction of the other side of the room.

Reno nodded his comprehension and stumbled his way across the room, hoping he'd find the bar before falling over anything.

It was exactly two years after the destruction of Meteor, and the party had arranged another anniversary celebration. Given that they'd managed to utterly destroy the Gold Saucer on their last two attempts at an anniversary party, this time they had wisely decided to hold the soiree at a safer location: the Wutai Pagoda, which had been a marriage gift to Yuffie and Vincent from Lord Godo. Reno gave a drunken snort of remembrance as he recalled the wedding; the only wedding he'd ever managed to sit through without being chucked out. 

Poor Vincent. Marriage to Yuffie had certainly changed his life, hence the reason he'd recently started drinking. Reno had known a few drunkards, himself included, but he'd never seen anyone sit there with such a _serious_ expression on his face as he tossed back glass after glass. Even Rude was known to lighten up a bit after a few drinks.

Reno gave a start as he walked right into something big, white and fluffy. He swayed but managed to keep his balance as Cait Sith turned round and exclaimed, "Hey, friend! Can I read your fortune? I can answer riddles, predict the future, even find lost items! What can I do for you?"

"Any idea where the bar is?" Reno slurred, gazing vacantly around the room, knowing that those shapes he was seeing had to represent something – if only he could remember what the bar looked like…

"Okey-dokey, I'll give it a shot," said Cait, going into his bouncy fortune-telling routine. "Here we go! Um – 'carry a smile in your heart and you will find your true love'! Oops, I guess – "

Reno looked at him, "Huh? How did you know I'd fallen in love?"

"Heh, heh," Cait said hastily. "Well, I'm not a fortune teller for nothing! Who's the lady in question? Maybe I can take a peek into the future and see if it works out for you!"

"Elena," Reno confessed. "She's the most – the most beautitive woman I've ever seen. Hey, hang on, did I say that right?"

But Cait had already gone into the fortune telling routine, "All righty, here we go! Your fortune says – "

Unfortunately, before he could tell Reno the result, he was interrupted by Tifa appearing at his side.

"Cait, we need a hand with the kids," said Cloud's wife of two years now. "Yuffie's been looking after them for an hour and she wants a break. We asked Cloud but he's no use. I told him we needed someone to tell the kids a story, so he ran over and sat amongst them, waiting for the storyteller to turn up. Now he says he won't do anything until we tell them the story. Can you help us out?"

"Sure, can do," Cait agreed, and bounced off the way Tifa had come.

"Reno?" said Tifa. "Looking for the bar, I presume?"

"Yeah. I think someone's hidden it…can't see it anywhere."

"No, no, it's over there. Will I show you the way?"

"Thanks Tifa, but I think I can make it on my own."

He took one step and keeled over forward, landing flat on his face and beginning to snore. Tifa sighed and waved over Barret.

"Huh – that dumb Shinra foo's wasted again," Barret grunted. "Want me to throw him out?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I think he's with Cid and Vincent. Just leave him with them; they'll make sure he gets home all right."

Barret bodily lifted Reno from the floor, striding across the room, and depositing his comatose form in a chair beside Cid.

"Hey, Barret, how's it going, my son?" Cid cried, trying to stand up to slap Barret on the back, but he once again couldn't find the energy to rise from his chair.

Vincent's head protruded from his cloak to see what was happening. His eyes fixed on the Missing Score clipped to Barret's arm, and he managed to mumble, "Gun."

Rude was slumped over the table and didn't appear to be conscious. Despite this, when someone came round to clear away empties, Rude's hand stubbornly refused to let go of the empty beer bottle it was clutching. Eventually the waitress gave up and let him keep it. Reno lay asleep in his chair and dreamed about Elena.

Later that night, when, after trying several doors to find the right one, the four of them got back to their hotel room, Reno had come back to something resembling consciousness. All he could think about was Elena, how much he loved her, and how much he wanted her to love him. Maybe he should go over and see her, to let her know how he felt.

"Cid?" he said suddenly. "Which room's Elena in?"

"Dunno, why?"

"I'm in love with her."

Cid guffawed, "_You_? I thought drink was the only love of your life."

"It was. Until now. I'm going to go over to her room and – and – "

"And – ?"

"And ask her to marry me!" Reno declared suddenly, priding himself at formulating such a brilliant plan.

Vincent, who'd been lying on his bed as still as a corpse, suddenly sat upright, "Take my advice. Don't."

"Why not?"

"I never realised before how good it was to be single. It is too late for me. You must save yourselves."

Reno raised an eyebrow, "O…kay. Say, where's Rude?"

"I think he's on the roof, howling at the moon," Cid replied. "He's been doing that ever since Red XIII accidentally bit him on the leg."

"I'm serious about Elena," Reno told him. "I want to let her know how I feel."

"Reno, do you want my advice on this?" Cid asked.

"Yes."

"All right. I'm telling you this as a friend: you are a dishevelled, disreputable, jobless, homeless, hopeless alcoholic. Elena's a proud, ambitious woman. Do you see any problems there?"

Reno's drink-addled brain woke up and he tried to think. He really tried. Eventually he shrugged and said in a puzzled tone, "Should I?"

"You've got to clean up your act if you want to have _any_ hope of Elena agreeing to marry you!" Cid told him. "If you're really serious about her, that is."

"Of course I'm sheri – sheri – of course I mean it!" Reno insisted.

"Right then," said Cid. "We'll start tomorrow. Now belt up, I'm going to sleep."

He leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes, and instantly fell asleep. Reno stared. He was still amazed at how Cid could smoke a cigarette in his sleep. 

Vincent was once again lying motionless on his bed. To anyone who didn't know him, the complete lack of movement coupled with the cold, pale skin, might have sent them screaming for an ambulance. Vincent sighed and covered himself with his cloak. For whatever reason, most likely something to do with Hojo's experimentation on his body, Vincent could only really sleep when he was hanging upside-down like a bat. This was one reason why his marriage to Yuffie had not got off to the best start possible. It had taken hours of pleading from Cid, Rude and Reno to convince him to sleep normally in a bed tonight. It was just _too_ freaky, even for them.

Presently Reno heard snoring coming from beneath Vincent's cloak, and he decided he might as well hit the proverbial sack too, mostly as there was nobody left to talk to. As his head hit the pillow, the room fell silent, save for the muffled sound of Rude howling at the moon from the roof above.

When Reno woke the next morning, he definitely knew it. Knew that he was awake, that is. He couldn't remember a hangover as bad as this one. His head felt like a thousand Weapons were stomping on it. His throat felt like he'd puked up a dead animal or something. He probably had, for all he could remember about last night. His stomach felt like he was digesting an acid-filled pit of snakes. His liver – if it was still there – was probably writing its letter of resignation before it finally packed in.

"I've really got to stop drinking," he mumbled. "But hell, I say that nearly every morning."

He opened his eyes, screwing them up against the onslaught of morning light that assaulted him from the open window. 

"Aspirin. Need aspirin," he slurred through his tortured throat, talking to no-one in particular.

Sitting up in bed, he looked over to see Vincent lying on his front, moaning in pain, sobbing, "Just go away, just go away. Oh my head…" 

Reno looked further over to see Cid lying on the floor, also clutching his head and writhing in agony. An empty bottle of aspirin lay beside the old pilot.

"Please tell me we brought another bottle…" Reno moaned.

He could hear puking sounds from inside the bathroom and he assumed it was Rude. Reno sighed. It was just another morning in his beer-filled existence.

"Hey," he said to Cid. "We got any more aspirin?"

Cid muttered something unintelligible, but gestured vaguely with one hand at his overnight bag which lay on the floor a few feet away. Reno stood up quickly, instantly regretting it, and managed to stumble over towards the bag without collapsing. He crouched down beside it and fumbled about inside for a few moments before he realised he'd forgotten what he was looking for. Oh yeah. Aspirin. He found a bottle and swallowed two pills, before crawling back towards his bed, only managing to get half way before falling in a heap.

At that moment there was a knock on the door. Vincent howled with pain at the noise. Cid got to his feet and hurried for the bathroom. On finding the bathroom locked, he dashed over to the window and retching noises could be heard. Reno stood up uncertainly and approached the door. It took him a few tries to get his hand to grasp the door handle, then he pulled it open to see Tifa standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Reno," she said. "Are the others here too?"

"Uh – yeah," Reno said, his head beginning to pound once more despite the aspirin. "Rude's in the bathroom and Cid's out on the balcony."

"OK, great. Can you pass my message on to them too?"

Reno looked confused, "You never gave me a message."

"I haven't told you yet, silly," she replied. "OK, here it is: there's going to be a special dance event held on the top floor of the pagoda tomorrow night. After that our Meteor celebration is over. You're all invited, of course, but it's couples only! You can't come without a partner."

"Oh, OK. Thanks, Tifa."

She left, and Reno tried to remember what the message was. Something about a dance…and couples…and a partner…

"Hey!" he exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his hangover. "I've had a brilliant idea! I'll take Elena to the dance!"

Cid, who had returned from his endeavours on the balcony, snorted, "Hah. If she sees you in this state, she'll run a mile."

"You said you'd help me clean up my act," said Reno, a vague flicker of remembrance sparking inside his brain.

The pilot gave another guffaw, "Did I? I must have been more drunk than I thought. Help you clean up your act? Talk about an impossible mission!"

"Hey! That's not fair! I can look respectable! I used to wear a suit when I was in the Turks!"

"Yeah, and you still managed to make it look as if you'd nicked it from some old tramp. Reno, how can I say this? You and Elena – it's just not going to happen."

"That's what you think!" the ex-Turk retorted. "I'll bet you anything you like that I can get Elena to go to the dance with me!"

"All right," said Cid confidently. "If you can get Elena to go with you, I'll…I'll dress up as a woman and go with Barret! If Elena won't go with you, then _you_ have to go with Barret!"

Reno nodded, "OK. It's a bet!"

The two men shook hands to seal the wager.


End file.
